the stone that the builder refused

Chris' dad is getting married! On march 1st! In Minnesota at Amy’s house.

I think i'm actually more excited than Chris is. I’m so happy for him. and I think this trip to the states (and the wedding!) Is going to be a lot of fun.

It’s funny because I was looking at Malarie's pictures from the charity ball event last Saturday and thinking to myself how I kind of missed dressing up. 

The last time I wore an actual dress-like garment was for my high school prom. And that was not fun at all. Though mostly because my date almost didn’t show up and then did nothing but sulk and complain the whole night...
ah yes. Good times.

As opposed to being horrified at the thought of social interaction, I am actually really ecstatic. March 1st is so soon! It’s going to be great to have this break in the middle of the semester, right after reading week to get away and have some fun with Chris and his family.

I have always liked Chris' dad. He’s always been very sincere and kind to me. Over the Christmas break he ended up saying that he loved me, which did mean a lot.

Vic and his family have always gone out of their way to make me feel at home and welcome when we're together. I feel really fortunate to be able to participate in such a significant occasion with all of them.

- sunday was my 2 year anniversary. chris sent up a big basket of roses and wild flowers to surprise me, which i thought was incredibly sweet and thoughtful. i am spoiled. and very much in love. it's great.

- im reading "the curious incident of the dog in the night time." so far i am not impressed. maybe years of being forced to read terrible canadian literature has made me bitter and unimaginative.

- today it took me 2 hours to get get to work. i still dont really know why. there was an accident west-bound, but nothing into the city. it may have been because there was a horse loose in ottawa at the time... i dont know.

- i just saw on the news that heath ledger passed away today. i find it sad that anna nichole smith received thousands of hours of collective footage surrounding her death, while ledger gets all of 40 seconds on CNN. sad.

- i officially hate dr. phil.

- i actually enjoyed work saturday, mostly because myself and some friends from work hung out in the presidents office and ate candy!

- how cool is it that prince charles was able to deliver his speech in Abu Dhabi via hologram? i know a lot of people are automatically thinking star wars, star trek etc. but i automatically thought jem and the holograms. now all charles needs is a rockin pink wig and holographic pop band... and a house full of orphans. and a record company.

- my mood seems to be really elevated lately. it could be from the detox or ongoing love from chris cauchi. things at work are going surprisingly well, too, which doesnt hurt either.

i have been tired though, so ill post a better update once ive had some rest.

Last night I slept alone for the first time in over a month.

I woke up to Rei chirping at me through the darkness this morning. ive been in a strange daze since. I keep waiting for chris to walk in through the door, fully aware that hes been left behind at his house in oakville.
sad.

we had a great run together! my holidays were filled with a lot of quality time with friends and family. 

for new years, chris and i ended up going to a cocktail party at adams house. which was a lot of fun. a lot of interesting drinks that i had never tried before. it was a really nice, quiet party with adam, kelsey, their friends, nick and jessie, karel, kendall and chris and i. we had a great time, had some great food, played a few games and eventually fell asleep at around 4.

the night before i left, chris took me to dinner and a movie. we finally saw juno. we must have picked a good night to go, because there was not one empty seat in the theater.
chris loved the movie. i didnt hate it.

 right now im tired. trying to relax before i begin the new semester. responding to a lot of emails, playing with the ipod and looking for my car keys which have mysteriously disappeared.

i have a lot of new years resolutions that i had meticulously scribbled into my paper journal.... before leaving it behind in oakville. chris has promised not to peak but im sure his mother will...

when we got back from our date friday night we discovered that she had stolen our garbage.

but that's another post for another day. for now i am happy to be back in ottawa and looking forward to a new year.

Chris and i made it to oakville safely on Saturday. 

Ive spent the past two days with Chris' family and I can now safely say that I was wrong in being so apprehensive about it.
They are all incredibly warm, loving hospitable people who immediately went out of their way to make me feel comfortable and at home in their various residences.

Even Chris' mother has been decidedly un-evil so far.

The big surprise gift from Chris was a black 80 GB ipod. Apparently all of the "inside joke" stuff was just to throw me off his trail. Its gorgeous.
He also got me a big set of orange cantaloupe bath products from fruits and passion, and both bridget jones' movies on dvd.

I absolutely love the ipod and other gifts, but most of all I was really elated that he got me the bridget jones dvds.
I know its almost completely ridiculous, but its one of my favourite movies (i also love pride and prejudice) and one that i make reference to often. Not only did he buy both of them for me when he hates them, but he watched them with me in Ottawa (and actually attempted to feign interest) while i squealed over colin firth. 

I feel spoiled rotten, and rightfully so. I made him promise me that he would never spend this much money on a gift for me again. 
we shook on it, so im pretty sure its for reals.

Yes, my material goods make me happy. 

Tonight im staying at my grandma's. Chris, jonathan and good uncle john went out for a man-date today, so i decided to head to St Catharines to spend some time with my family.
It has been good. I helped a bit with the renovations but now i am bored.

I originally was going to head home (Chris' house) some time this afternoon, but there werre some mild shenanigans with my car's oil levels and some shopping for shoes. Also my sister and i will be taking sean to see Beowulf tomorrow, so i didnt want to waste the gas going back to Oakville to sleep, only to come back again in the morning.

I wish i had brought more of my holiday gifts to entertain me. or pyjammas....

The ipod is entertaining, but i only have a few songs on it, since i am far away from my playlist in ottawa. I've basically been listening to the beatles and 'saturday nights alright for fighting' all night.
Which is fine.

I will find something to read and pretend that i dont miss chris after only 12 hours of separation.

after watching the movie SAW a few times im completely convinced that a crazy man in a pig mask is going to come after me while im walking to my car after patrol shifts.

ill wake up in a room with a treadmill and a change of clothes. and a tape recorder.

"kristen, you are such a fat lazy slob. seriously, you're like a big tuna fish. your task is to eat all of the LA weightloss bars in the corner and run on the treadmill until you can actually fit through the exit. also i brought your text books and clean clothes. maybe now you'll change out of your bathrobe and do some studying. so... you know, you can graduate. ok see you later."

i need to write an essay on anne of green gables. or something... its due tomorrow.
im not worried because i managed to write a pretty sweet 8 page essay for philosophy last week in one night. so i figure that if i sit here long enough, an A+ essay will materialize for me.

i also need to go back to the mall on thursday in order to exchange some of my purchases. the satin shirt i bought just looks goofy on me. i need to stop spending money on clothes for myself and get my christmas shopping done first. otherwise im just going to run out of money... again.

i think my priorities are a little bit backwards. i was all set to have a reasonably priced, thoroughly conceived shopping experience.
then i get to the mall and suddenly its kamikaze time. the budget goes for a shit. i start buying goofy shirts that dont necessarily fit me. everything gets backwards.

i feel like im under tremendous stress to get chris something phenominal. im starting to feel that if i dont get him the wii nothing else will be good enough. isnt that sad? i thought it was sad.

now imagine if i were a contributing member of society with a real job and an actual course load. plus the added stress of holiday shopping and the quest for nintendo wii.
i honestly dont know how normal people do it.

and then got up, went to work for 5 hours, came home, and went back to sleep for another 9 hours.

i totally trashed my house while my dad and brothers have been gone. there's shit everywhere. i took the massive pile of used towels out of the bathroom and threw them on the floor because im tired of dealing with them when i try to bathe.

ask any woman what its like to live with 3 or more men in a house.
its mostly a horrible and disgusting experience which usually involves a lot of hair somehow being everywhere and general incompetence.

there is one man who is an exception to the rule, and thats my friend chris cauchi.

i havent told my parents (or anyone really) this but next year i will be moving out to get my own place - maybe with my exceptionally clean friend.

i know that we have talked about moving in together re: the customs position and how it was such a big deal because wed be buying a house together, etc. but for now i am interested in finishing school and paying rent.

so this is the goal that we are shooting for. whether or not it can be achieved for next year is a mystery but im certainly going to give it my best. this way chris and i have lots of time to decide if this is what we want, or if i should look for an apartment for one instead of two.

also there will be kitties.

the alternative is that i move in with karel or kendall and share a place with them if chris isnt ready for the big leap yet. either way im game to get out of my parents house and be on my own.

so basically right now i smell funny and am a big mess because im burnt out and have essentially been wearing the same sweat pants for a week because i cant find any of my other clothes. my brothers just take them out of the dryer and put them in random places without telling me so that they can wash their shit.

my dad and brothers will be home tonight and i feel like i should clean. however the house was a mess before i left, so i dont see why they should expect it to be clean when they get back. i work way too much for that shit.

also i just set out an email being like 'live with me plz' so hopefully karel and kendall will let me know what their plans are for next year. this process is very exciting.

ok i guess i should go bathe and buy some new plants for my room since my orchid is apparently dead. hopefully i will be less disgruntles and gnarly the next time i make a post.

 why try when you can wear whats on the floor.
obviously in denial about the fact that it doesnt fit anymore!